I have overcome deep set qualms to share this video with you. It’s filmed off a screen, a brief extract of a TVM program intended to provide health education to the masses, which seems to mean for TVM that supremely qualified doctors are to be locked up in a room with the most utterly incompetent, oblivious, idiot in a perverse version of Big Brother where the doctor who dares laugh out loud at the idiocy of their roommate will be shot in the square.

Please, please take the time to watch the full video.


Now watch it again, looking at, if you will, at the faces of the doctors as Brian Hansford asks if “make-up”, by which he means cosmetics applied to the face, truly cause leukaemia. They want to die. I can see them wishing nobody’s watching this. They are humiliated by the company they have been made to keep.

Allow me to plagiarise references which Brian Hansford, whose head if cracked open by cannibals would not have enough brain in it to cover a water biscuit, would not be able to recognise. In the Amazonian rain forest, there are tribes of Indians as yet untouched by civilisation who have developed more convincing techniques to host a health education show on national TV.

Everyone who has seen this film of Brian Hansford on TVM is now dumber for having watched it. May God have mercy on his soul.