You couldn’t imagine these things if you tried. From his stage, all pomp and circumstance, Joseph Muscat yesterday declared “this Maltese festa will be marked by authenticity”. Oh does he protest too much!

The Tritoni of City Gate, not authentically Maltese in the best of time, were represented by crane-held marionettes in a “spectacle unlike any ever seen before”. Except that it has.

This is Amsterdam three years ago:

It’s not that yeterday’s Malta spectacle imitated this, thereby compromising somehow it’s authenticity. As far as can be guessed the Amsterdam show has been replayed here using the same equipment. This is not cultural license for inspiration. This is plagiarism. They may as well have invited Moira Orfeir’s heirs and plastered a Maltese cross on the front.

The sight of tall cranes over the Triton Fountain was the only authentically Maltese thing about yesterday’s City Gate extravaganza. Thousands of people squealed in collective delight at the altar of the only religion this nation worships: the authentic anonymity of rootless money.