Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and emotions at this time. We are finding solace in each other and out of despair perhaps hope will grow. Here are some reflections I received today. I am going through your many hundreds of messages and emails and I am sorry if sometimes it takes long for your contribution to be posted.
Six days have passed since the death of Daphne Caruana Galizia. Six days of shock, anger, sadness, loss and suspicion… six days and some of us are still in the initial stage of mourning, some have managed to move to anger but very few have been able to or will ever move to the stage of defiance.
I have started my journey in utter disbelief, I now feel the loss and the void which has followed Daphne’s death. I have repeatedly gone back to her blog knowing well that there will be no additional comments on it, I don’t know why, maybe part of me hoped that this was a very bad tasted joke or maybe I hoped that someone would step right into her shoes and continue her crusade. We all know this is not the case.
Like many my first thought was that this was an attack on Freedom of Speech, so many have been heard quoting it, both locally and internationally. I don’t believe it is, you can only attack freedom of speech if you have freedom of speech, but we don’t. Our censorship disguises itself in the words Political Correctness, Daphne was everything that goes against political correctness, she wrote what she thought with no inhibitions. We love her for it, we read her blogs avidly, checked them out many times a day to see what she is saying next….she was our soul speaking out words that we do not have the courage to say because we are afraid that people may call us haters, negative, intolerant and all the other words that politically correct persons attribute to people who speak their mind disregarding political correctness. Daphne was our refuge.
Love it or hate it, all of us regardless of the party we pledge our allegiance to have visited her blog. Some of us sought refuge, others sought to read and then offend her writing and her without any inhibitions since ‘is-sahhara tal-bidnija’ or the ‘bicca gornalista’ did not fall under the protective wing of political correctness for them she was liberating. At least they had their part of uninhibited speech.
In other countries where they do not have Daphnes to give solace, people have looked to defy political correctness in the voting boots hence we had Trump elected and Brexit voted for. Many in those elections sounded their surprise at the results but in all honesty we all saw it coming. One single act of defiance against constant silencing of thoughts.
The Maltese stand out, we had our Daphne, we had our chance of change, but we insisted on continuing in the same direction. Some of us looked at the results of the last election in disbelief, how can a person promising good governance not be voted into power? Daphne was not shocked, but then again none of us should have been. How can I do wrong and get away with it if the persons in power are honest people? So the allegedly corrupt where elected, and in the endeavor of being reelected some day, the Nationalists followed suit electing someone allegedly as corrupt as their party leader.
We watched them last Monday following her death, both addressing her loss, both blaming directly or indirectly each other for her death. Both giving an utterly good performance bringing the script to life, had this been a theatre they would have had a standing ovation while the audience would have chanted the words ‘Encore! Encore! Bravo!’ with tears in their eyes for the heartbreaking performance.
In reality; Delia stepped up to the occasion and sought the opportunity to instill support in the party followers who did not find him credible or suitable to lead the PN. While Muscat did what was politically correct in expressing his dismay and offering rewards (seeking the endorsement of the family like the best of PR exercises). They both saw the opportunity to gain from her death, she had brought light on their shady lives and probably were all too relieved that it is now over. And while the supporters of the one delved into mourning and anger towards the institutions, the others celebrated; openly without inhibitions, justifying a brutal murder of a journalist by saying she brought it onto herself.
Now we all want to know who it was that gave the mandate for the assassination… we probably never will know who officially did it, but deep inside we all know the answer. The assassin stares us in the eyes every time we look at the mirror. We did not speak when we needed to and hid behind her knowing that she had no fear and would sound our concerns. We were not there to defend her, we were not there to protect her, we have left her standing there like an island, an easy target for the corrupt. We had the chance to change it all but a few pennies bought our loyalty. We are the mercenaries who killed the only one person who spoke the truth without considering that she was not politically correct. We have brutally murdered Freedom of speech because we were to scared of the judgements of others, we are the slaves to society.
I will not play high and mighty and pretend that this is other people’s doing. I am afraid to stand up, I fear sounding my voice, I think and re-think every word I say to make sure I am politically correct and that I do not offend anyone. To this day I have not managed to sound my ideas and stand up against those who have offended her memory. I have killed her with my silence and my fear. I wish to say that I will never fall into the politically correct trap but building courage and becoming bold does not happen overnight. Change is attained with one defiant step after another, I will stand for what is right. Sorry Daphne and Thank you Daphne, may God bless your soul.